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I Hope You’re Dancing In The Sky

Sonja Behnke Festerling 1992 Burtonsville, MD
Sonja Behnke Festerling 1992 Burtonsville, MD
 Last Friday morning, December 9, 2022, my mother, Sonja Behnke Festerling, lost her long battle with Alzheimer’s disease at age 89.

 

Throughout our lives, we create memories that become our stories. Our life is made up of many pages, which are chapters in our book. When someone starts down the long road of Alzheimer’s Disease/dementia, the pages of their lives are slowly torn away. Page by page, chapter by chapter, they float away. But where do they go? They all go into a special box that is saved for them. When my mother died and went to Heaven, she got her special box to open. All the pages and chapters returned, and she was Sonja once again.

 

 Love you more … Stephy

 

Sonja Behnke Festerling lost her long battle with Alzheimer’s disease at age 89 on the morning of December 9, 2022. Our beloved wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, sister…she will be missed.

 

Born on September 7, 1933, to her parents, Albert and Rose Behnke, Sonja grew up in Beltsville, Maryland, with her brothers at the Behnke home on the grounds of Behnke Nurseries, the nursery that her parents started in 1930. During her childhood, Sonja made friendships that she kept throughout her life. For many years a group of her girlfriends would get together for long weekends to “solve all the problems of the world,” as she would say.

 

Life was a stage for Sonja, and she had that million-dollar smile that made people want to be around her. Sonja graduated from the last and best senior class of Greenbelt High School in 1951 before they closed their doors. After completing high school, Sonja went to NYC and attended the Academy of Dramatic Arts, creating many more friendships along the way. From there, Sonja relocated to Hollywood, California, in the mid 50s. She eventually returned home with her two children, where she taught modeling at a top agency in Washington, D.C. A few years later, Sonja returned to work full-time at Behnke Nurseries.

 

Sonja met the love of her life, Joachim (Joe) Festerling in 1968, a nurseryman from Germany, while he was working at Behnke’s. They got married in 1972 and moved to West Friendship, Maryland, where her husband started Lindenhof, his wholesale nursery. Together they enjoyed going to auctions, filling their home with many treasures they found along the way.

 

Sonja had many roles at Behnke Nurseries and became President of the company in 1995 until she retired. You would find her most often working with her African Violets or helping customers, rather than being in the office. She also was in charge of advertising for the nursery. Sonja started the Christmas Shop in the late 1960’s by convincing her father that a few German decorations would sell. The Christmas Shop became one of the only Christmas Shops in the area. Sonja was proud of all the people over the years that worked with her at Behnke’s. She empowered so many high schoolers with the opportunities of growth, independence, and development.

 

During this time, she was also a member of the Beltsville Rotary Club for 25 years, where she served as the first woman President of the group. Sonja embraced the Rotary ideals and truly lived in that manner. She served in every leadership role in the club at least one time, and took on important responsibilities at the district level. Every year you would find Sonja ringing the Salvation Army Bell at Behnke’s as a member of the Rotary. Giving back to the community was something she loved to do, and like in every role she took on, she did so with the same level of cheerfulness and positivity.

 

During Sonja’s life, she enjoyed traveling around the world with her husband, mother, grandchildren and friends. Always up for an adventure, one of her last trips was to Antarctica, where she marched with the penguins. A theater and arts enthusiast, Sonja loved attending live shows, as well as watching all the old classics on TV. She found enjoyment and peace in gardening, reading, and daily word games.

 

Sonja is survived by her husband, Joachim (Joe) Festerling; her two children, John Peter Thompson and Stephanie Fleming, and son-in-law Jonathan Fleming; her two grandchildren, Steven Fleming and Jaimie Shirokobrod, and three great grandchildren, Aaron and Zoe Shirokobrod, and Robert Fleming; her siblings, William Behnke and Albert H. Behnke and her two sisters-in-law, Ele Behnke and Cathy Behnke. In addition, Sonja had many nieces and nephews. Her parents, Albert and Rose Behnke, and older brother Roland Behnke, predeceased her.

 

A celebration of Sonja’s life will be held at a future date. Per Sonja’s wishes, the family has requested no flowers. Instead, look around and enjoy all that nature has to offer. Cut a bouquet of flowers and enjoy them in your home.

Sonja Behnke on her horse Rusty in Beltsville Maryland in the late 40's
Sonja Behnke on her horse Rusty in Beltsville Maryland in the late 40's

Dancing in the Sky

Stephanie Fleming was raised at Behnke’s Nurseries in Beltsville. Her Mom, Sonja, was one of Albert & Rose Behnke’s four children. She was weeding from the moment she could walk and hiding as soon as she was old enough to run, so many weeds, so little time. Although she quickly learned how to pull out a perennial and get taken off of weed pulling duty.

This Post Has 30 Comments

  1. Ms. Stephanie,
    I’m so sorry to hear about your Mother’s passing. I loss three family members to Alzheimer’s. I will always cherish your Mother’s African violet class that I attended with my Mom. Your Mother gave us lots of helpful tips, and as a result we have been caring for and collecting African violets for years. Every time my plants bloom I will remember your Mother who was a woman who was gracious and “bloomed where she was planted.”

    1. aww that was one of her last classes. But she loved doing them. After a life time of not being able to keep an African Violet alive, I started watching what Mom was doing each day at her home as I went to see her. Something so simple as moving the violets to a different side of our home worked wonders and now they are blooming and thriving. I even have one of the babies from the old pink ‘Chantecler” violet Mom used in her demo. I am sorry for your loss to this dreadful disease.

  2. Grandma was a remarkable woman and helped to create many magical memories for me as a child. Much of who I am today is from her generosity and beautiful style.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your mom lived a beautifully full life. Thank you for sharing her story. I miss the whole Behnke experience so much. All of you contributed to many enjoyable days just roaming around your store, it was more of a destination than a store.

    1. Thank you, yes mom did live a beautiful life. Even in sad times she was able to put a smile on! She learned that from her mother, Rose Behnke and I can only hope I can do the same. We all miss our wonderful Behnke’s too.

  4. Thank you for sharing your special tribute to your mom. Losing our mothers is very hard, something very deep and always there. You have our deepest sympathy. May she be enjoying all the treasures and promises of Heaven.

    1. Thank you, Susan. I never understood when folks would say they are better off until I experienced the loss of friends with devastating illnesses like Alzheimer’s. I know Mom is in a better place with her memories back.

  5. Stephanie, I am so sorry for your loss. Memories of Sonja are woven through my nearly 30 years at Behnke’s. I think she had the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. It lit up her face. I think of her so often, especially at Christmas when I unpack so many treasures from the Christmas Shop. She was so proud of her German heritage and loved to talk about the pyramids, nutcrackers and blown glass ornaments.
    Sonja was so excited for me when I was planning a honeymoon in Hawaii. She brought me five beautiful Hawaiian dresses to take on my trip. They fit! I still have photos of myself on my honeymoon wearing Sonja’s dresses. I was so touched that she shared them with me.
    She adored her children of course, and she often talked to me about you, Stephanie, since we were about the same age. I felt like I knew you even though I only met you when I unloaded an occasional truckload of your plants. I always thought you looked so much like Sonja — which of course is a great compliment!
    I offer my deepest condolences to you and your entire family. I look forward to celebrating her life at a memorial.

    1. oh Lori! Thank you so much. Joe and I were just talking yesterday about their trip to Hawaii. Mom loved Behnke’s but more than that, she loved all of you. Nothing made her happier than talking about the ‘Kids” and then watching you all grow and start your own lives.

  6. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Your heartwarming way of describing the horrible reality of Alzheimer’s brought tears to my eyes. We lost my father, who was a regular at Behnke’s for many years, to this awful disease. I will keep your words close to my heart!

    1. I am sorry for your loss too. I really do like the idea of that special box of chapters. I hope that it does help a little.

  7. Stephanie, Beautiful tribute to your Mom. So sorry to hear of the passing of your Mom.
    I have fond memories having known your Mom as a customer of Bennie Nursery, her beautiful violets. Also honored have met Albert and Rose Behnke. I am German born and so proud of my German heritage. Loved Bennie Nursery up to its closing, have fond memories and miss Behnke Nursery and you. So enjoy your weekly emails.

    1. Thank you so very much for taking the time to write and to share your memories of Behnke’s. We too are very proud of our German heritage. I actually played a lot of German Christmas music for my mother the last few days of her life. Made her smile. I know she is now at peace with her parents and her brother.

  8. I met your mom at the Millersville Native Plant Conference many years ago, she came up to me to thank me for all of the plants that Behnke’s bought from me over the years, she was beautiful and young looking and I couldn’t believe that she was John Peter’s mother, when she looked like she could be his sister.

    1. Hi Barry! LOL Mom got that alot where people thought she was John Peter’s sister! Always young at heart! Thank you so much for sharing your memory of mom!

  9. What a wonderful tribute to your mother, Stephanie. I know how hard it was for you to see her slipping away from you bit by bit. Alzheimer’s is a cruel disease – more cruel (as I know from personal experience) to the onlookers than to the victims themselves. I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that she is once again whole, and wholly restored to her true self. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the rest of your family.

    1. Thank you so much Barbara! Yes I know what you are facing and I am always read your thoughts on this thing you call the Alzheimer’s Train. Mom loved your conversations with her when the two of you were members at the health club.

  10. What a beautiful tribute to your mom! I’m sorry for your loss, but also grateful that, as you say, she is Sonja once again! As a long-time customer of Behnke’s, the three-generational history of your family’s business is very special to me. Much love and comfort to all of you.

  11. Dear Stephanie,

    We are so sorry to hear about your loss. I’ve enjoyed all your stories about your mom and your obviously close relationship. You will be in our prayers during this difficult time.

    Best,

    The Masons

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