1. Be One with Nature instead of One Hundred Thousand and One with Nature. Been downtown to try to see the cherry blossoms and been overwhelmed by the crowds? Enjoy the blossoms as they are meant to be, sitting alone on a bench as the gentle breezes blow and petals fall around you from your own trees. Ahhhh….
2. Discover your inner Archeologist. You never know what you might find when you’re digging in the garden. The ‘burbs were all farms at one time–you might find a trove of gold coins hidden from advancing civil war troops. Whiskey hidden during Prohibition. Or somebody’s pet turtle buried in 1956. Sure, most of the soil in your yard came from the excavation of your basement, but what if your basement was right over a farm owned by George Washington?
3. Gardening is a great outlet for Road Rage. You have a bad commute and someone cut you off? Hold it in till you get home. Put on some gloves and start pulling weeds. Imagine that each one is that guy in the Beemer. Weed Rage: the healthy alternative. It keeps you out of jail.
4. Experience counts!! Instead of being a hopelessly befuddled old person who can’t comprehend why anyone would want to enjoy a movie on a wristwatch, you can instead be a wise old person who can grow corn trees and carrot bushes. It’s never too early to prepare for obsolescence!
5. Knowledge of gardening will help you survive the Zombie Apocalypse. Hey! Ms Organic!! Are you going to spend your few remaining days eating cold peas out of a swollen can? People with gardening skills will be in high demand in the Safe Zone. More Beanssssss!!! If nothing else, you will be free-range, 100% organic Zombie Chow.
by Larry Hurley, Behnke horticulturist